ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
