No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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