i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
