You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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