I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
