i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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