Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
