New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
