I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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