PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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