so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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