I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
