I hope mine doesn't look like that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
