I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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