i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize