is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
