I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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