Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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