So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
