Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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