That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
