come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize