Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
