White coat. Heels.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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