Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
