Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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