So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize