yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
