oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
