After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I stole a fireplace last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
