Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
