Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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