Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
