check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
