I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
