just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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