a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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