thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
