I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize