Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
