guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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