fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize