Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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