I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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