i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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