I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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