Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
