So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
