If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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