EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
