**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
