Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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