HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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