I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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