Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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