I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
