According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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