he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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