Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
