She's JV to your varsity
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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