there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
