There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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