just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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