I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
