i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
whose parrot is this?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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