dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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