Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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