What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
NoShamevember. You game?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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