i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize