no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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