FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Girls should come with a carfax report
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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