she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
