We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
