you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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