I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
God I need to hump something, right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize