Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sext me about skeletons
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
