Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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