went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
